Triangles in a World of Circles: Rethinking ADHD, Dyslexia and Mental Health

ADHD (for­mer­ly known as ADD) and dyslex­ia are incred­i­bly com­mon among lead­ers of fast-grow­ing, entre­pre­neur-led com­pa­nies. These neu­ro­di­verse traits are often paired with strengths like cre­ativ­i­ty, ener­gy, and resilience — gifts that help dri­ve inno­va­tion and bold action.

But with those gifts also come real chal­lenges. Peo­ple with ADHD and dyslex­ia often pay a price in stress, men­tal exhaus­tion, and burnout. That’s why I ded­i­cat­ed a por­tion of Chap­ter 3, Dou­ble Your Resilience, in Your Oxy­gen Mask First, to talk about these often-mis­un­der­stood con­di­tions. And it’s why they’re a key part of this men­tal health series.

Tri­an­gles in a Cir­cu­lar World

Years ago, I co-cre­at­ed a web­site called Gif­tADD with my client and friend Nigel Ben­nett, to reframe how we view ADHD and dyslex­ia — not as dis­or­ders, but as pow­er­ful dif­fer­ences. In the archives, I recent­ly came across the video below fea­tur­ing Nigel’s son, Devon. In it, we talk about his strug­gles at school, despite hav­ing a sharp mind and strong spirit.

What made school hard for Devon wasn’t a lack of intel­li­gence or poten­tial — it was a sys­tem that didn’t under­stand how he thought and learned. Well-mean­ing teach­ers focused on try­ing to ​“fix” what wasn’t bro­ken, and in doing so, they chipped away at his confidence.

In our con­ver­sa­tion, Devon and I talked about how peo­ple with ADHD and dyslex­ia are more like tri­an­gles in a world designed for cir­cles.

From an engi­neer­ing per­spec­tive, tri­an­gles are stronger than cir­cles. They dis­trib­ute weight and stress more effi­cient­ly and are fun­da­men­tal in build­ing sta­ble structures.

But in our soci­ety — and espe­cial­ly in our edu­ca­tion sys­tem — we tend to reward peo­ple who are well-round­ed, sym­met­ri­cal, and ​“bal­anced.” We aim to raise per­fect circles.

And when some­one doesn’t fit that mold — like kids with ADHD or dyslex­ia — adults often try to reshape them. But you can’t mold a tri­an­gle into a cir­cle with­out break­ing some­thing important.

As Sir Richard Bran­son (who is dyslex­ic) wise­ly said:

When we try to fix what’s dif­fer­ent, we rob peo­ple of the chance to thrive by being ful­ly themselves.

Using Strengths and Fill­ing Gaps

Watch­ing that video of Devon now (who by the way, is now absolute­ly thriv­ing in his career as an actor and per­former), I’m struck by how far we’ve come — and how much fur­ther we still have to go.

Today, it’s more wide­ly rec­og­nized that peo­ple with ADHD and dyslex­ia aren’t bro­ken or defi­cient. In fact, they often pos­sess pow­er­ful lead­er­ship qual­i­ties: a high tol­er­ance for stress, risk-tak­ing abil­i­ty, sharp focus (in the right envi­ron­ment), and a unique way of solv­ing problems.

In my expe­ri­ence, peo­ple with ADHD can thrive in lead­er­ship and entre­pre­neur­ial roles if they build teams that com­ple­ment their tal­ents, lean into their nat­ur­al strengths, and cre­ate sys­tems to fill the gaps.

But they must also proac­tive­ly man­age their ener­gy and stress. That high-out­put mode can fuel suc­cess — until it leads to burnout.

An Inter­est­ing Take: Dr. Gabor Maté on ADHD

To bet­ter under­stand the roots of ADHD, I rec­om­mend the work of Dr. Gabor Maté, a thought leader on addic­tion, stress, and neu­ro­di­ver­si­ty. In con­trast to tra­di­tion­al beliefs, Dr. Maté sug­gests that ADHD isn’t pure­ly genet­ic. His view:

• It’s not about willpow­er or defects.
• It’s about sen­si­tiv­i­ty, stress, and environment.

He explains that ear­ly stress—such as parental anx­i­ety, emo­tion­al neglect, or pover­ty — can impair dopamine func­tion and push a child’s brain into fight-or-flight mode. Over time, these sur­vival adap­ta­tions can show up as the symp­toms we label ADHD.

Here are some of Dr. Maté’s key insights:

• ADHD is shaped more by ear­ly expe­ri­ences than by DNA. It may run in fam­i­lies, but what’s inher­it­ed is sen­si­tiv­i­ty — not the con­di­tion itself.
• The ADHD-Addic­tion Con­nec­tion: Peo­ple with ADHD are more prone to addic­tion, not because they lack willpow­er, but because they seek relief from chron­ic emo­tion­al stress.
• It’s not about blame. Most fam­i­lies expe­ri­ence stress at some point. This isn’t about fault — it’s about under­stand­ing how our envi­ron­ments shape our minds.

You can hear more from Dr. Maté in his con­ver­sa­tion with Mel Rob­bins on this pod­cast episode, where they explore ADHD, trau­ma, and healing.

A Chal­lenge — and an Opportunity

If you know some­one with ADHD or dyslex­ia — whether it’s a col­league, a friend, or a child — con­sid­er this:

How can you help them think like a tri­an­gle, not try to become a per­fect circle?

Instead of try­ing to ​“round out” their rough edges, help them ampli­fy their strengths, build sys­tems around their gaps, and embrace the pow­er­ful archi­tec­ture of who they are.

Resources

May is Men­tal Health Month, so here are some tools and sup­ports you might find useful:

• Men­tal Health Sup­port:
  Cana­da & US: Call or text 9−8−8 for free, ²⁴⁄₇ men­tal health and sui­cide pre­ven­tion support.
• Prac­ti­cal Tools from Your Oxy­gen Mask First:
  • Chap­ter 3: Dou­ble Your Resilience
  • Chap­ter 4: Invest in Your Sweet Spot
  • Chap­ter 6: Deal with Your Emo­tion­al Junk
  • Chap­ter 7: Man­age Your Men­tal Health

The Chal­lenge

• If you know some­one with ADHD and/​or dyslex­ia, how could you help them to think more like a tri­an­gle and lever­age their strengths, rather than try­ing to be a well-round­ed circle?

Oth­er Blogs

• The Gift of ADD & Dyslexia
• Stress Per­for­mance Curve: How Stress Makes High Per­form­ers Better
• Build­ing a Team of A Players
• Build­ing an Exec­u­tive Team that Kicks Ass

Old­er Podcasts

• I’m Wor­ried I’m Micro­manag­ing my Team
• Three Rules of Engage­ment for Healthy Teams