High-performing CEOs and executives – as they search for ways to cope with stress – can sometimes get lost down the rabbit hole of addiction.
Tech executive and coach David Greer is one of them. In the hope that his story inspires others, in this three-part series, he shares his journey of growth, as an entrepreneur and how alcohol became a coping mechanism until the point when it began to rule his life. Until, 16 years ago, he reached a turning point.
David remembers that, when we first met at a one-page strategic plan seminar, I asked him a couple of questions that made him very uncomfortable and brought tears to his eyes. Until that moment, he said he hadn’t realized how unfulfilled he was in his work.
Shortly after, we began working together. Our first coaching session, in August 2007, was David’s 50th birthday. But it wasn’t until 18 months later that he really got to work.
Listen to David talk about our first call here.
First, a Little Background
Now based in Vancouver, Canada, he grew up in Edmonton where he was introduced to computers, at a young age. By Grade 9, he knew wanted to combine computers and business into a career and went on to earn his degree in computer science. During this time, while working parttime for a rapidly growing Cablevision company, he met a consultant who offered him a position (the first hire) in his fledgling software company. He stayed for 20 years, helping to grow a very successful company, and became a partner.
That partnership ended in 2001, just at the start of the dotcom meltdown. Although he began to chase other opportunities, a ‘lightbulb’ moment made him realize that, if he continued to work at the same pace, he’d miss the precious, growing-up years of his children. So, David and his wife made the radical decision to take their three children on a two-year, 5000-mile sailing adventure.
A Brave Decision Changes Everything
I met David when he returned, when, as an advisor and investor in emerging tech companies, he wasn’t having success finding something to sink his teeth into and needed help to figure out what to do next. And while we “cleared a lot of stuff off the table”, our work hit a new level when David decided to take a brave step that would dramatically change his life. He talks about his life or death decision here.
“About 18 months in,” he says, “the night before we had a coaching call…about 10:30 at night, I had my last beer, put the empty down and I sent you an e-mail (that) the topic for discussion tomorrow is my drinking.
Listen to David and I have an honest conversation here.
We also discuss when he realized he had a problem.
“As a daily drinker for 20 years, it was my biggest, darkest secret. I had been completely in denial, and you were the first person I opened up to.”
“I tell people that I had enough of a trust relationship with you, knowing you had my back. I knew once I told you, there was no going back. I knew that you would never let me off the hook. I was really scared. I didn’t know how I was going to live my life without alcohol but once I let it out to you, I knew that was the end.”
David talks about taking his first step to sobriety here.
Not a Unique Story
David was a high-performing alcoholic who got a lot done.
“I drank to power up and give rocket fuel to get more stuff done, or to skip past exhaustion or feelings. Towards the end, I started drinking a little earlier. It was 4:00, then 3:30, and then 3:00; a six-pack just to get a little buzz going, then wine with dinner and then I’d find ways to drink after dinner until I passed out. Then, I’d get up at 6:30 in the morning, go to the gym to work out the hangover, then the workday and just repeat, ad nauseum.”
It wasn’t the first time I’d heard this story because I’d worked with people in Alcohol Anonymous’ 12-step recovery programs and had learned, over many campfire nights, from a neighbour who taught me about alcoholism, through his own experience of being sober for 30 years and mentoring others. He also taught me the importance of planting a seed with someone who is struggling, to let them know what is available to them when they are ready to ask for help. Listen to us talk about campfire stories here.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease and when David was “sick and tired of being sick and tired and being beholden to the booze”, he was ready to ask for help.
David and I had talked about what he wanted in his life, the future, possibilities and what he needed to get there. But we had never talked about alcohol, until that day. When it became undeniable that booze was holding him back, he was ready to do something about it.
And I knew enough to recommend he get to an AA group that day, or the next day.
Now, after 16 years of recovery, he’s a dramatically different person.
David’s story continues next week.
Watch the full interview below and click the link for David’s website https://coachdjgreer.com/.
Resources
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- From Your Oxygen Mask First:
- Chapter 1 Live an Amazing Life
- Chapter 6 Deal with Your Emotional Junk
- Chapter 7 Manage Your Mental Health
- Alcoholics Anonymous to help people achieve sobriety.
- Al-Anon for people who are worried about someone with a drinking problem.
- Adult Children of Alcoholics for people who had alcoholic parents or family dysfunction.
- From Your Oxygen Mask First:
Other Blogs
- Is Emotional and Mental Health a Priority in Your Boardroom?
- The Psychological Price of Entrepreneurship
- Align on the Most Important Things
- An Interview with Someone Who Had a Close Call
- A CEO Burnout Story
Older Podcasts
- Executive Burnout: How Do You Know You Need Help? Part 1
- Executive Burnout: How Do You Know You Need Help? Part 2
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