When I was recently in India, I met an interesting tour guide who shared a philosophy that life is broken up into 25-year chunks: the first 25 is learning, your education. The second 25 is earning. The next 25 years is the seeking of truth and understanding, and the last 25 years is as a wise sage, able to give wisdom to others.
So, when I think about tech executive and coach David Greer, whose story of addiction and recovery is being shared in this three-part series, I can see where he is on his journey. This last segment follows his transition from truth and understanding to a new phase of wisdom and service.
When I asked David about the difference in his internal experience of life and work, today, he talks about being more at peace, much more in touch with what he feels.
“Sometimes, I’m a human doing but I’m a much more human being. I was quite present to my kids and very focused on them but probably 20% of me was just never there because I was thinking about the next drink or so driven for work.”
“I remember walking at the beach, holding my youngest son’s hand, brainstorming in my head the next version of the software we were going to be releasing. Eventually, I did get present but a lot of executives and entrepreneur leaders…making big things happen…can relate to that. We’re consumed by what we’re doing…an addiction to…and getting our kicks from the work.”
Conscious Choices
Because of the12-step recovery program and therapy, he’s much more aware and faster to catch when his mind is focused on work or elsewhere – and much better at making a conscious choice.
“I want to be with my grandchildren and to make sure I clear off anything that might mentally be getting in the way of my being present to them. I bring a much more in conscious intention to all of this.” David talks about conscious living here.
Lessons & Insights
All of us, on our growth journeys as leaders, must – at some point – reflect on our choices otherwise we get in our own way, or the business will destroy us. We need these pieces of awareness to help us get to the next level, to thrive and to be better versions of ourselves.
David talks about some of his insights:
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- Identifying his taskmaster spirit (TMS). Like an octopus on autopilot that gets a lot done, this is so deeply embedded, he didn’t realize when all eight limbs were moving at once. Now much more aware, he can decide whether he wants to lean into his taskmaster spirit, rather than being on autopilot.
“It’s great for productivity but, on the other side, (it’s a) problem that causes burnout. I literally have internal conversations: “Hey, TMS, nice to see you. You can stand down. You don’t need to be on guard right now. We’re OK. You can just chill.” More about David’s TMS and working with it below.
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- Identifying the voices in his head. Rooted in a therapy methodology called Internal Family Systems, all the different voices in your head either help us or get in our way. When you unpack and can separate yourself from each one, you can better recognize them and then choose when they are of value, rather than running on default. More on your Inner Critic here.
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- Life and leadership are about service.
Part of the work everyone does in the 12-step recovery program is to be of service to others, in the hope they can relate to the experiences shared and feel the strength to stay sober. And that’s influenced how he now sees leadership.
Less collaborative and more likely to micromanage, he’s now more invested in what he can do to help the people he works with be massively successful. David talks about leadership evolution and being of service below.
“I see leadership much more a servant activity.
The way I keep my sobriety is I go help someone else.”
A Life of Service
Now 67, David plans his life in five-year chunks, taking a one-step-at-a-time approach.
That includes continuing to work in his coaching practice for the next few years, within the amount of time he wants to work, making sure he has time with his wife, children and grandchildren.
“It turns out, for me, not working hard is really hard work. (Like a) thoroughbred racehorse, I just want to run hard.” David talks about what’s next here.
His bigger purpose is to share his message to others, like in the conversation we’ve had in this interview, to help others who are struggling with their mental health or addiction.
“Please reach out for help,” he offers. “I know how hard it is. Go to my website. Email me or call me and I’ll do a free one-hour coaching session with anyone who wants it.”
Ultimately, the greatest thing we can do, in our lives, is to be of service and help others. And David, now in the sage part of his life, has much to share.
You can watch the full interview below and to David’s website, if he can be helpful to you. https://coachdjgreer.com/.
Resources
- From Your Oxygen Mask First:
- Chapter 1 Live an Amazing Life
- Chapter 6 Deal with Your Emotional Junk
- Chapter 7 Manage Your Mental Health
- Alcoholics Anonymous to help people achieve sobriety.
- Al-Anon for people who are worried about someone with a drinking problem.
- Adult Children of Alcoholics for people who had alcoholic parents or family dysfunction.
Other Blogs
- Shared Experiences are a Catalyst for Connection
- Seven Year on: Managing Your Mental Health
- Are You Living an Amazing Life?
- An Interview with Someone Who Had a Close Call
- A CEO Burnout Story
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